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Series: The Slayers Revolution: Season 4 Part 1
Release date: 8th November 2010
Certificate: PG
Running time: 325 mins
Director: Takashi Watanabe
Starring: N/a
Genre: Anime
Studio: MVM
Format: DVD
Country: Japan
Taking inspiration from Dungeons & Dragons, and based on Hajime Kanzaka’s manga series, Slayers Revolution returns for a fourth season, blending action with fantasy and comedy as Lina and her gang face insurmountable odds to face off against the evil Duclis.
The sorceress Lina Inverse and her gang are searching for the Sword of Light after losing it in an earlier battle when they happen across Pokota, who is in possession of one Lina’s most powerful spells.
On the way, they meet a marauding gang of pirates, who have kidnapped a mermaid; emergency aid for Pokota’s kingdom of Taforashia is vindictively intercepted by the evil Gioconda; and a rich lady’s pets have gone missing. As the crew deal with these problems, they must bring the final battle to Duclis’ newly created Zanaffar, who can only be damaged by the missing Sword of Light…
The most striking element in season four of Slayers Revolution is the poor animation and characterisation. The style forgoes the obvious potential of similar series’ in favour of a simplistic, poorly designed approach, with uninteresting clichéd character models and a lack of consistency throughout the production. Clichéd is a notion which is synonymous with the whole series, as the attempted aesthetic and function of the show has been done before so many times, and done so much better (see D.Gray Man et al).
The lead character, Lina Inverse, is presented as an anti-hero of sorts, with the producers aiming to squeeze some comedy out of her arrogance and defiance. All they succeed in doing is making her possibly the single most un-relatable and unlikeable protagonist in anime. Of course, not all heroes have to be pure and innocent, and these flaws normally succeed in driving the narrative - and offering the audience anchor for the adventure, but it seems they have set out to make the most repugnant, annoying character ever, helped in no small part by the irritating voice acting from Megumi Hayashibara. The voice acting is a mixed bag, with a notable turn from Yasunori Matsumoto as the hapless Gourry who brings most of the comic beats as he struggles with his clumsiness and constantly breaking sword - much to the dismay and anger of Lina.
The relationship between Lina and the rest of the gang consists mainly of them lamenting her bad attitude or (rather bizarrely for a PG rated show) relentlessly bullying her for her flat chest (a sentiment echoed by many of the enemies they come across, even the live stuffed animal Pokota). This shift in tone from action and adventure into infantile, repetitive references to an 18-year-old girl’s breasts (or lack thereof) is somewhat unsettling, and lends an element of unsuited crudity to the show.
The aforementioned stuffed animal antagonist, Pokota, is also a redundant, infuriating character, despite featuring heavily in the earlier episodes. This is largely down to his simplistic and uninspired characterisation, leading the gang on a fruitless and dangerous journey before becoming an annoying sidekick of sorts once he realises that the evil Gioconda is involved in a plot to destroy Pokota’s kingdom, Taforashia. Pokota’s appearance is reminiscent of a bargain bin Pokémon, lacking any of their charm and harbouring a massive chip on his tiny shoulder, which, when combined with Lina’s constant arrogance, presents a truly lamentable proposition.
The juxtaposition of highly stylised, overly cartoony characters (Lina and Pokota) with much more human, relatable designs (specifically in Wizer Freon, the inspector of Ruvignald) creates a sense of disjointedness which does not lend itself well to the show’s overall aesthetic. Secondary and background characters are very poorly animated, with seemingly only a couple of frames of animation to share between them, becoming the only focal point as they spasmodically jig behind the action in a relentless loop of lazy production..
These moments of laughable shoddiness are only exacerbated when shown alongside the rather impressive action scenes. The characters cry out the names of their attacks - in typical anime fashion - and use creative combat and spells to offer a real sense of pace to these scenes, and present a pleasant distraction from the rest of the episode.
The plot is rather typical fantasy fare, with the clichéd set up of an overarching narrative beset with smaller sub-plots to appease the casual viewer. The main narrative is a convoluted affair, with Lina and Gourry reconvening with her separated friends before Wizer attempts to arrest her for apparently “being herself” (which would have been a blessing). And so begins a cat and mouse chase between Wizer, Lina and Pokota which results in an epic final battle against the Zanaffar. The confusing main narrative is made more so by the simplicity of the events of individual episodes. New characters are constantly introduced and long-winded names of far off lands are dropped with a misguided familiarity while the gang search for missing pets - and take part in a ball rolling festival.
Slayers Revolution is a poorly produced, confusing and unappealing anime with substandard design and a lead character who is one of the most unlikeable and annoying in recent memory. There are much stronger examples of similarly themed anime available, and fleeting moments of exciting combat and comedic lines cannot save this from being difficult to recommend. RB
Film: The Silent Army
Release date: 19th November 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 93 mins
Director: Jean Van de Velde
Starring: Marco Borsato, Abby Mukiibi Nkaaga, Andrew Kintu, Thekla Reuten, Jacqueline Blom
Genre: Action/Drama
Studio: High Fliers
Format: Cinema
Country: Netherlands
In the heart of the African jungle, an ever-growing army of child-soldiers are on the rampage. As the trail of slaughter grows, it’s up to our hero to rescue the brain-washed children and put an end to the bloodshed.
We begin by following Abu, a child who is dragged from his home by The Holy Army and quickly indoctrinated to a life of militaristic murder. The leader of the army insists that the children call him Daddy, and isn’t above forcing his disciples to kill their own parents or provide him with sexual pleasure. Soon Abu is helping to plant land-mines, massacre other villages, and kill his friends.
In the meantime, Eduard Zuiderwijk, a white cook, is trying to recover from the death of his wife. When his son begins investigating the loss of his missing friend, Abu, the two begin a journey to find him. This takes them to a refugee camp where Eduard finally decides to go and find the rebel army himself and bargain for Abu’s release.
Deep in the mountains, the rebel-leader has arranged to pick up more ammunition, and soon the scene is set for a gun-blazing, action-packed finale which will test the children’s loyalty to their new ‘Daddy’…
The first thing that strikes you about The Silent Army is its pacing. The first half-hour is like watching a film in fast-forward. The average shot is less than ten seconds long, which makes it difficult to be bored, but even harder to care. Eduard’s wife is killed in a car-crash six minutes into the film, by the half hour mark Abu’s entire family are dead, Eduard has travelled half way across Africa and the audience are left struggling to keep up. It could be argued that the film is placing us in the children’s mind-frame. The situation these children are put in is illogical, frenzied and horrid. But cinematically this pacing is un-engaging. We cannot be expected to mourn the passing of a character who we have barely been introduced to. Characters need to earn our sympathy, our respect. In the absence of any real characterisation, or dramatic tension, all we are left with is a series of war-crime re-enactments, filmed with all the frantic editing and cold precision of a music video.
When the film finally does begin to slow-down, it simply falls apart. Ignoring the glaring plot-holes, self-important lecturing characters are given no emotional justification for their actions. It is never explained, why Eduard decides to take on an army of dangerous gun-touting rebels, or, for that matter what it is that the rebels are hoping to achieve. The leader, Michael Obeke, seems aimless and pantomimic. The female aids-worker we meet at the midway point serves no real dramatic purpose - by the end it never becomes clear what the film is actually trying to achieve.
The finale finds our hero take on the guise of the ‘Hollywood vigilante’, using weaponry to blow his enemies to pieces, and ends with a credit sequence urging us to do our bit to help the plight of real child-soldiers. Yet the film makes every effort to tell us that charity, good-will and ‘white moral-superiority’ are not the answers. The only thing that seems to work is a semi-automatic and a crate of grenades.
What we are left with is a sense of bewilderment. The only thing that achieves any semblance of emotional response is the violence against children. What The Silent Army doesn’t realise is that the reason why films like City Of God are so effective is because we are allowed time to get to know the victims of such violence. Here violence is a means to an end. We have no sense of what has been lost. We are left with a sub-standard action movie in which the answers to all of life’s problems are found at the end of a white-man’s gun.
An exploitative action movie that uses the pain of others to hide its own vacuous nature. AC
Film: Heimat Fragments: The Women
Release date: 13th September 2010
Certificate: 12
Running time: 146 mins
Director: Edgar Reitz
Starring: Nicola Schössler, Henry Arnold, Salome Kammer, Caspar Arnhold, Gudrun Landgrebe
Genre: Drama/Fantasy/History
Studio: Second Sight
Format: DVD
Country: Germany
After over 53 hours of film, you’d be forgiven for thinking Edgar Reitz had said all he had to say regarding the numerous descendents and associates of the Simon family throughout his epic Heimat series. Heimat Fragments: TheWomen is the latest addition to the franchise, combining new footage with previously unseen outtakes from all three prior instalments. Focussing mainly on Reitz’s female characters, the film attempts to show how the various women from the Simon past have combined to shape the person of Lulu Simon today.
Heimat Fragments has no plot as such, structured as a dream-like narrative in which Lulu, the 35-year-old daughter of the musician Hermann Simon, searches for something which she calls “the old future of childhood.”
As part of this search, the film sketches in forty scenes, or fragments, that deal with the lives and dreams of the women of Heimat. Scanning almost the whole of the 20th century, the women featured include Maria, Lucie, Clarissa, Renate, Olga, Evelyne, Ms. Cerphal, Helga, Marianne and Dorli from Duelmen.
Also included are old and forgotten war scenes in which her father’s brothers were involved, the day when her grandmother Maria’s last cow is taken away from the Simon farm, and Hermann, once again a schoolboy in shorts, experiencing first love with Klara, or as a young ambitious artist at the music conservatory.
Lulu views these excursions into the past as representing not only the end of her youth, but also as a means by which she can discover a new freedom…
It makes sense that Reitz returns to the theme of womanhood. The women of Heimat were always the most compelling - caught between a sense of duty toward home and family and a desire for personal freedom, they embodied most the themes of the series. Unfortunately, Lulu is one of the least engaging female characters, often coming across as charmless and self-involved. Though her personality is partly explained by being the daughter of the similarly solipsistic Hermann Simon, Nicola Schössler’s mannered performance does not make it any easier for us to empathise with her.
The worst the original Heimat series could be accused of was of being sentimental or melodramatic - though even these elements were tempered by the wider historical-political contexts, be it the rise of Nazism or Cold War and pre-millennial tension; the darkness at the edge of Heimat’s town. Filtered through the perspective of the emotionally distant Lulu, Heimat Fragments certainly can’t be accused of sentimentality, but it can be accused of self-indulgence, and of being seriously confused and muddled.
Aiming for a Proustian remembrance of things past, it falls way short - alternating between banal truisms (endless variations on looking into the past signalling the end of youth) and quasi-philosophical pretentiousness (“I am the archaeologist of the future, who excavates the present”). As if this wasn’t silly enough, Reitz has Lulu constantly wandering around with a shovel and a bore in her hands, digging in the ground, boring holes into trees and into the pillars of the music conservatory through which we look into older scenes. Clearly these sequences contain an element of fantasy, with an all-too-obvious symbolic meaning (metaphors about digging up the past are often followed by scenes of actual digging), but then Reitz insists on shooting the scenes with Lulu through a digital camera – usually the lingua franca of the gritty realist. The end result is some very cheap looking cinematography, jarring considerably with the older, more accomplished shots taken from the earlier series.
There is one moment when Reitz’s approach almost works, during a scene when Lulu revisits the village of Schabbach. As she hammers on an anvil, recalling an iconic scene from Heimat’s opening episode, she speaks of reawakening memories of days gone by. It’s an evocative moment, but the effect is quickly ruined by a shot showing a startled old man overacting as though his life depends on it, as he reacts to the ringing of the anvil. Just like the various allusions, both verbal and physical, to digging, it makes for an odd match of pretentiousness alongside an unnecessary tendency to spell things out for the viewer.
As if the piece wasn’t confused enough, Reitz also includes misjudged attempts at a post-modern self-reflexivity. There is an outtake from Heimat 2 involving the editing of a film that seems to suggest what is left out is just as important as that which is included (a conceit which might have been viable if the outtakes included in this film were not as generally banal and clearly superfluous as they are). Another scene has Lulu in a cinema, insisting: “I do not dream about a movie… The movie dreams about me.”
The picture culminates with Lulu’s attempts to communicate through the film with her father (or, rather, the image of her father upon the screen). Such attempts at breaking the fourth wall could be lauded as daring if they even came close to working, but the execution is clumsy, and the ideas behind them are never really fleshed out enough to succeed.
Of most interest to Heimat fans will be the outtakes from previous series’. However, just as we learn virtually nothing about the character of Lulu, these outtakes are similarly unrevealing. The older scenes, although not entirely without interest, add little to the Heimat series as a whole. Though they do mainly deal with the lives of the women, sometimes at turning points, involving love or career decisions, they seem fairly arbitrary. Often it’s obvious why they were originally left on the cutting-room floor, and you could go through the entire series and pick out a great number of scenes that better illustrate the themes Reitz is getting at.
Watching the fourth instalment of Reitz’s Heimat series, it is the writer Sherwood Anderson that comes to mind - never quite able to recapture the success he enjoyed through his depiction of life in the eponymous town of Winesburg, Ohio. But while Anderson at least tried to move on, Reitz seems unwilling, or even unable to. As Heimat Fragments draws to a close, the overriding feeling is perhaps it’s finally time Reitz left his own fictional village behind.
Even the most ardent fan of the original Heimat series will find Heimat Fragments hard going. Clocking in at just under two-and-a-half hours, it’s an exhausting and ultimately unrewarding watch, confused both in its message and delivery. A huge disappointment from a director capable of so much more. GJK
Film: The Haunting
Release date: 25th October 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 120 mins
Director: Elio Quiroga
Starring: Ana Torrent, Francisco Boira, Hector Colome, Rocio Munoz, Francisco Casares
Genre: Horror/Mystery
Studio: Scanbox
Format: DVD
Country: Spain
Elio Quiroga’s The Haunting, also known as No-Do and as The Beckoning, represents another drop in the torrent of Spanish supernatural horror that’s burst through the riverbank of international cinema awareness. Arriving on the heels of higher profile releases such as fellow haunted house romp The Orphanage (2007), straight up Spanish shocker [Rec] (2007) and this year’s similarly styled Hierro, does The Haunting have what it takes to make an impact in a rapidly overcrowded market?
When paediatrician Francesca (Ana Torrent) starts to suffer from postpartum depression after the birth of her new son, her friend and hospital psychiatrist Jean (Rocío Muñoz) recommends a change of scenery. Francesca and her husband Pedro (Francisco Boira) are shown around a spacious country house that was formerly a school owned by the priesthood. They fall in love with it and move in straight away.
After experiencing nightmarish visions of ghostly apparitions, Francesca starts to get more and more obsessed with the safety of her baby, prompting further concern from her husband and Jean as she seemingly slips deeper and deeper into madness.
Meanwhile, Miguel (Héctor Colomé) a psychiatrist priest, discharges a patient whose spent the last fifty years in a catholic institution as he tries to come to terms with the secrets of No-Do; a religious experiment that occurred in Francesca and Pedro’s home decades ago…
If the storyline of The Haunting sounds familiar to you, that’s because it pretty much follows almost every standard plot point synonymous with its genre: a young family move into a big empty house (usually out in the sticks) where, unbeknownst to them, evil things occurred many years ago but still resonate in the form of noises, ghosts and so on. Due to a past personal trauma, one of the family – almost always the wife – has the unexplained ability to see and interact with said spectres, and feels some form of duty to put the spirits to rest. Naturally, no-one believes her except for some old hermit or religious type, ostracised from everyone due to crackpot supernatural theories of cults and evil goings on. The ensuing investigation is fleshed out with some obligatory searching around dark spaces with a flashlight and a research montage involving old newspaper articles where the hellish past of the property is slowly revealed. Unfortunately, The Haunting is the kind of film where you can guess the outcome and the intervening twists and turns simply by watching the trailer.
The cast do what they can with Quiroga’s formulaic script, but performances all round never really catch light. Torrent’s psychological journey from depressed mother to haunted and borderline insane person is not very compelling, and pales in comparison to many other similarly structured performances. Her conversations with her 10-year-daughter Rosa while Pedro’s out of the house feel very contrived. From their first scene together, it’s painfully obvious that Rosa isn’t alive and only Francesca can see her. To the film’s credit, this isn’t kept a secret for too long, but it’s uneventful nonetheless and ultimately annoying, as Francesca frantically searches the house for someone that everyone – including herself – knows does not exist.
Francisco Boira’s Pedro is severely underwritten, and is limited to the role of concerned husband. Héctor Colomé’s Priest Miguel offers more intrigue, but is again repressed by a rather flat and unimaginative script – finding a huge piece of the No-Do puzzle by easily letting himself into a special room within the catholic inner-sanctum, even though this is deemed forbidden with penalty of excommunication. The evidence itself – a reel of old film footage – is neither destroyed nor particularly well hidden as you might expect; the filmmakers choosing to leave it lying around on a dusty shelf for anyone with access to the room to see.
Camerawork is slick but not especially creative. The film adds some inventive touches by using seemingly old newsreels and other weathered footage to provide pieces of the puzzle, as well as flashbacks that try to maintain a similar aesthetic by incorporating faux print damage. Sometimes, these flecks and scratches appear over shots of the main storyline to segway into the flashback, which looks a little amateurish and kills any attempts of immersion. The ghost effects are equally suspect; crude now-you-see-them-now-you-don’t computer generated zephyrs that do little more than float about and pull scary faces - not to mention showing up the limitations of the film’s budget.
The film does little in terms of generating tension of scares, coming to a hilt when Francesca wanders around the house by herself with a torch; a tour which naturally takes her to the building’s darkest recesses, such as the basement, where the evil things happened.
The Haunting, then, is a film that hinges on creating a thick and creepy atmosphere as opposed to using shock tactics. Unfortunately said atmosphere, whilst present, is rather stale overly familiar. The musical score does little to elevate this, and the occasional presence of blatant filler shots – presumably used to stitch together the remnants of what was originally a much longer cut – cries made-for-TV, as do the clichéd fireworks of the film’s ending.
The Haunting is what it is: just another haunted house flick, and is totally forgettable as a result. It’s predictable, unoriginal, bland and a chore to watch. Although it’s commendable that writer/director Elio Quiroga is more interested in classic horror design than copious gore, this enthusiasm simply does not translate to the screen, rendering The Haunting a stuffy and tedious saga that offers nothing that hasn’t been seen or done before. MP
Film: Humains
Release date: 9th August 2010
Certificate: 18
Running time: 84 mins
Director: Jacques-Olivier Molon & Pierre-Olivier Thevenin
Starring: Lorànt Deutsch, Sara Forestier, Dominique Pinon, Manon Tournier, Élise Otzenberger
Genre: Action/Adventure/Horror/Thriller
Studio: Scanbox
Format: DVD
Country: France/Switzerland/Luxembourg
After running the harsh gauntlet of critical abuse during its theatrical release in Europe, where it was routinely and universally panned, Humains finally limps onto DVD courtesy of Scanbox Entertainment, but is it as atrocious as everyone claims?
When anthropology professor Schneider (Philippe Nahon) discovers a site in the Swiss Alps containing human remains that currently defy all current theories on human evolution, he assembles a team to investigate. Schneider, along with his reluctant son Thomas (Lorànt Deutsch), is joined by one of the professor’s assistants, Nadia (Sara Forestier), for the expedition.
They set off up winding mountain roads where they come across a family of tourists that, coincidently, Nadia had encountered on a proceeding train journey. Gildas (Dominique Pinon), his life partner Patricia (Élise Otzenberger) and their daughter Elodie (Manon Tournier) hitch a ride with the researchers after experiencing car trouble.
After a momentary lapse in concentration, Thomas loses control of the vehicle, causing it to plummet down the mountainside, killing his father. The rest of the group survive, but are now trapped in the gorge. As they find a way out, they soon realise that they are not alone…
In response to the question posed in the opening paragraph: is Humains as atrocious as everyone claims? The answer has to be yes as Humains is a bland and dire attempt at horror filmmaking that simply boggles the intelligence. It’s irredeemable in almost every single way, and fails to muster even the bare minimum of comforting escapism that many lacklustre films are still able to achieve. This is due to a rather flat and lazy script that’s further damaged by sloppy execution.
Performances aren’t dreadful but certainly fail to rise above the limits of script functionality. Nahon’s Schneider – the curmudgeonly mentor whose involvement in the plot is cut short dramatically – is played just how you’d expect. Forestier’s token hot lab assistant routine does little to go beyond that pretence, neither does Deutsch playing the handsome, introverted old friend of said hot lab assistant who, as one would guess, is hopelessly infatuated with her – not that he’d admit it, of course.
As for the tourist contingent: Jean-Pierre Jeunet regular Dominique Pinon is surprisingly non-engaging considering his rich back catalogue of interesting characterisations – including his wheelchair-bound space pirate in Alien Resurrection (1997) – contributing little to the cast dynamic. His partner Patricia does little more than complain, whilst his teenage daughter Elodie is typically angsty.
The script bumbles along with a distinct lack of purpose. Nothing of note occurs until halfway through, with exception to a spectacularly bad car crash where the CGI rendered vehicle drives off the mountain road and falls into the gorge – if you’re going to drive a car off the side of a mountain, what’s wrong with gravity? To make things even more illogical; you’d think none of the cast would have faces left after such a horrific, mountain plummeting accident, but they all walk away from it with only a few lacerations and a hurt shoulder. Schneider’s death is highly dubious as his body has somehow been magically transported a fair distance away from the wreck, and to think if he stayed in the semi crushed vehicle, he would’ve survived. Another questionable moment sees the group crossing a river with a strong current by wading through it with the assistance of a rope that’s tied across. Patricia gets hit by a piece of driftwood and loses grip, prompting the usual pursuit along the riverbank to rescue her. Thomas is able haul her out, but it turns out Nadia was also swept by the current, not that you see that happening, nor was she in the water or visibly part of the collision.
This motif of shoddiness infects other elements of production, such as the editing, which is clumsy to say the least. Scenes end abruptly or with cheap and tiresome looking fades to black, paying absolutely no attention to the emotional resonance of the moment - not that the thin script permits it anyway. Sometimes it’s nice to linger after a final exchange of information for a beat or two to allow the audience to absorb what’s been divulged. That doesn’t happen here, instead one gets the impression that the filmmakers are trying to get through this ordeal as quickly as possible, which is commendably merciful in retrospect.
Camerawork is acceptable but not exemplary, and the film’s score is equally mediocre, failing to stir any kind of excitement or tension, which is sacrilege considering that this is supposed to be a horror film. Humains has absolutely no scares on account of each scene being poorly paced and executed. It also has a distinct lack of moments that are even designed to be scary, and only a few shocks come in the form of sporadic moments of violence which offers nothing new in an already violent and overcrowded genre - and bears almost laughable results. The antagonists – a tribe of cliff-faced Neanderthals – feel ill-conceived and half-baked, performing the usual foliage rustling and bow and arrow games that’s been seen time and time again. Even the muddled and badly executed perception shift/role reversal in the final act fails to elevate them beyond being dirty men in rags.
There are only so many ways you can say that this film is terrible without sounding overly pejorative, but for resolution’s sake: Humains is an amateurish mess of a production that fails in almost every filmmaking discipline. To hate it would be a waste of energy as what transpires is so bland and uninspiring that to have any strong emotional response to it is tantamount to crying over spilt nothingness. It really isn’t worth it, and it certainly isn’t worth your time or your money. Humains is one to avoid. MP
Film: The Legend Is Born: Ip Man
Release date: 20th September 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 100 mins
Director: Herman Yau
Starring: Sammo Hung, Yu-Hang To, Dennis To, Siu-Wong Fan, Yi Huang
Genre: Action/Biography/Drama/Martial Arts
Studio: Metrodome
Format: DVD
Country: Hong Kong
The Japanese are coming - and they want to steal your kung fu! China's only hope is a legend in the making in this semi-autobiographical account of the originator of Wing Chun, mentor to Bruce Lee, and all-round tough guy, Ip Man.
Set throughout the early 20th century, Ip Man focuses on the life of our eponymous hero as he grows from a promising student into the heir apparent at a school for martial arts. Along the way, he ably demonstrates his considerable skill in numerous conflicts, which end poorly for everyone involved - but him.
The story begins with Ip Man and his adopted Japanese brother Tin Chi being enrolled into the school by their father who immediately takes off and leaves them under the supervision of an old Wing Chun master - a master who promptly dies and makes way for the slightly younger Cheung Wing Shing (Huang Yi).
It rapidly becomes clear that with Japanese incursions into Chinese culture becoming more and more common, the leaders of the association which determines who may be taught Wing Chun must decide whether to accept the approaches of the shady Kitano. With Tin Chi and Ip Man potentially caught on opposite sides of the conflict, both men must come to terms with not only external threats to their order but also the possibility of internal changes that threaten to undermine that which they have been taught since childhood…
Right off the bat, it's important to reiterate that Ip Man is semi-autobiographical. This is important because often enough such films live or die by how well they retell the protagonist's story – oscillating between mind-blowingly amazing and bombastically stupid (see: anything biographical that Mel Gibson has ever done). One of Ip Man's greatest flaws is that it seems too embarrassed to dramatise any of its heroes exploits, but will happily use piece-meal wire fighting in order to establish some kind of dynamic. This leads to the story of an obviously incredible man being told in an incredibly mundane fashion, with moments of incredibly misplaced fantasy simply confusing matters.
From the start, Ip Man delivers an inconsistent message, and this is only compounded by the frequent leaps that are made from scene to scene. Often characters make assertions that either assumes the watcher knows something that has not been explained, or explains something that bears no relevance to the rest of the film. Never is this more evident than when Ip Man (Dennis To) goes to find some medicine for a man who he had fought and hurt, at which point he describes his victim as a 'friend'. Problem being that he had not met the man before and never mentioned him again, so in the end all this (undoubtedly factual) encounter served to do was highlight the ham-fisted segway the film had made into a section where the protagonist learns a new and revolutionary form of Wing Chun; something which remains a key concept for about twenty minutes before also being forgotten.
Indeed, if Ip Man, as a whole, is a forgetful film then the directing, writing, editing, acting and even fight choreography could charitably be described as absent-minded. Most of the cast seem to have left their commitment at home for this picture, and it really shows as scene after scene begins to be dominated by poor directorial choices, worse acting, and fight scenes that make no contextual sense and are – at best – uninspiring. The worst thing about this is twofold: firstly that this is a martial arts film, and it shouldn't take a genius to work out that boring fight scenes might be problematic for a film of that genre; and secondly that being semi-autobiographical means that some of these fights actually happened, and actually made sense at some point, yet somehow director Wilson Yip managed to shift them into the realm of nonsensical make-believe.
Ultimately what proves to be the most disappointing thing about Ip Man is the sense of wasted potential; wasted ideas, wasted talent and – most importantly – the waste of a great story in what can only be described as a bad film. Poor acting, bizarre editorial and directorial choices, a hokey script, and fight scenes that rarely break a figurative sweat make Ip Man, above all else, a waste of an hour-and-a-half. JD
Film: Good Little Girls
Release date: 28th June 2010
Certificate: 18
Running time: 85 mins
Director: Jean-Claude Roy
Starring: Jessica Dorn, Marie-Georges Pascal, Cathy Reghin, Sylvie Lafontaine, Michèle Girardon
Genre: Erotica/Comedy
Studio: Naughty/Nucleus
Format: DVD
Country: France
John Claude Roy’s 1972 erotic film, being released on DVD for the first time, is a light-hearted coming of age story set in rural France and focusing on the sexual awakening and exploration of a group of teenage girls.
Good Little Girls focuses on an upper class family, Madame de Fleurville and her daughters Camille and Madeline. Madame de Fleurville hosts a TV sexual education show, and is clearly an open minded mother, who invites celebrities and socialites round to the family dinner table in order to progress her daughters’ understanding of the world, both politically and sexually, and encourages them to read from their late father’s collection of books. One of these books, ‘The Story of O’ particularly attracts the girls attention with its depictions of bondage and sexual humiliation, and so begins a period of experimentation in the girls’ previously innocent lives.
When the girls rescue Madame de Rosenbourg and her daughter Marguerite from a car accident, the two come to live with the family, and it becomes apparent that Marguerite shares the girls’ new found interest in sexuality, thus beginning a summer of garden parties, boys and many visits from the family’s virile doctor…
The opening credits of Good Little Girls is a classic example of 1970s European erotica, in both its playful animation and music - the same music that highlights many of the films more comic moments. Unfortunately, these opening credits and the film’s soundtrack are about the only positives that can be taken from the experience of watching this film.
Clearly we are not dealing with a film that is to be taken seriously, even aspects that could be dealt with somewhat more solemnly, such as a possibly psychopathic neighbour who enjoys pain on account of the whippings she has receives from her abusive stepmother, are laughed off as simply another crazy sexual experience. However, the film’s light-hearted tone is by no means the main area of complaint, this is after all erotica we are dealing with, traditionally not a genre that lends itself to extended periods of dramatic reflection.
The problem with Good Little Girls is that the story seems to drift from one pointless sexual experiment to another, making the voice-over narration and title cards between scenes seem almost comically redundant. There is no explanation as to why the girls decide to, for example, tie their new house guest up and then release her when she becomes uncomfortable, and there is little or no consequence either internally or externally of them having done so. In one moment, Marguerite is lamenting the lack of ‘boys’ in the house, in the next a group of vacant, statuesque men in pants have appeared in the garden. We do not know where these men come from, who they are, or where they keep the rest of their clothes. There is no attempt to portray any kind of inter-relationships in the group as the men are happy to enjoy alone time with any one of the girls, and the girls don’t seem to care very much which one of the men they end up with.
Things are no more logical in the adult characters, as the possibility of a love triangle between Madame de Fleurville, Madame de Rosenbourg and the family doctor is laughed off as quickly as it is raised, as the doctor proceeds to have sex with just about every woman in the house in the space of one evening, even having to rely on some kind of love potion that the housemaid brews in order that he may continue.
Of course, in the realm of erotica, narrative development is never at the forefront, but with so little to excite the viewer in Good Little girls, the fact that there is no real storyline means that the film becomes very tiresome very quickly. Attempts at drama are never edgy, attempts as humour are never very funny, and attempts to follow who is who, who is sleeping with who and why are likely to leave the viewer as dizzy and confused as they are bored.
The only area where the film gains any kind of points is aesthetically, the characters are, for the most part, incredibly beautiful, and the costume and set designs are likely to resonate well with viewers with an interest in fashion.
Some will take enjoyment in the tacky nostalgia of the whole affair an in this sense it is as typical an example of 1970s French erotica are you are likely to see. However, the style and glamour with which Good Little Girls is put together does not excuse the sheer lack of plot or interest that is contained within.
A relic of a bygone era that may be enjoyed by some as a silly reminder of 1970s European erotica, but should be avoided by anyone who does not wish to have 85 minutes of their life wasted. PK
Series: Bleach: Series 05: Part 01
Release date: 30th August 2010
Certificate: 12
Running time: 199 mins
Director: Noriyuki Abe
Starring: Johnny Yong Bosch, Masakazu Morita, Fumiko Orikasa, Yuki Matsuoka
Genre: Anime
Studio: Manga
Format: DVD
Country: Japan
The first part of Bleach season five arrives on DVD, bringing with it more of the animated chaos, pseudo-spiritualism and complex mythology that has gained it an eager and ever-growing fan base.
Ichigo continues his role of Soul Reaper, but this time an evil pack of renegades have broken into the Soul Societies’ inner sanctum, bringing with them a tidal-wave of violence . The ability of the group to hide their own ‘Soul-pressure’ renders them invisible to the high-ranking reapers detection making their presence all the more dangerous.
Soon after the initial breach of the cities walls, the renegades seriously injure one of our main protagonists. As the battle between good and evil mounts, vengeance becomes involved in the mix. But it soon becomes clear that the seemingly endless battles are actually a distraction for an impending terrorist attack.
Amongst all the ancient feuding and political friction, there is a magical race of stuffed animals who are used to detect ‘Soul Pressure’. As well as providing some of the comic relief of the series in season five, they start to become fully-fleshed characters of their own, with the protective bird creature, perverted lion and sarcastic green faced man each taking it in turns to help, distract and amuse our main group of heroes…
It is important whilst watching Bleach to note just how astonishingly popular the series is. In the United States, it is rated as one of the top ten most popular anime series’, and, in its native Japan, the manga, on which this is based, sold over sixty-one-million copies.
In the original season, Ichigo was thrown into battle with a horde of demons, giving its audience a new demented enemy every week. The popularity of the show was simple; it worked on the same level as a freak-show. People would tune in looking for the latest unsettling monstrosity and sit back as it was punished and contained by the forces of good. But that simple structure has now been replaced with an ever more complicated series of narrative arcs, which stem from the characters and their placing in the imagined hierarchy of the afterlife. This would be welcome if the characters provided were as fascinating as the demonic entities they faced. But the simple truth of the matter is they are not.
The plot is too familiar, too clichéd to engage. As the endless dialogue clunks on, it leaves you rolling your eyes and sighing loudly, wishing the writers had been brave enough to bestow us with something resembling originality.
But in fairness maybe what a crowd are really looking for here is kinetic battle sequences rather than a cerebral, or indeed comprehendible, plot. Baring in mind just how popular this show is, it still manages to looks amazingly cheap, visually unappealing and hugely uninteresting. The fight sequences consist of large light orbs firing randomly, characters moving very quickly, and not a lot else. They contain none of the spark or energy needed to keep you on the edge of your seat - it is, most of the time, difficult to figure out who you are meant to be rooting for, and when you do, it is even harder to care. In a seeming attempt to make sure the audience gain as little enjoyment from these events as is possible, they will grind to halt for some more clunky dialogue and failed attempts at wit. Which leads us to the subject of comic relief.
In a blatant attempt to create more merchandise, the heroes are all teamed with a set of annoying stuffed animal creations that, we are left to presume, are meant to be funny. But this attempt at humour is nothing more than an increasingly offensive assault. If the idea of a sexually-aggressive lion stalking woman and ogling their breasts is funny then so be it, but the rest of this ‘cute’ mob spend the rest of the show squawking loudly or just getting in the way. When they appear on the screen, usually in scenes that are quite separate from the larger storyline, they stop all plot-progression and just make for a show that is tonally messy, part ineffective drama, part un-amusing farce
This is for the converts only. Its huge cult-following masks a show that overindulges in cliché, leaving no space for originality, interesting characters or a drop of humanity. Cold, ineffective and wildly incomprehensible. AC
Film: Dinner For Schmucks
Release date: 3rd September 2010
Certificate: 12A
Running time: 114 mins
Director: Jay Roach
Starring: Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis, Jemaine Clement, Stephanie Szostak
Genre: Comedy
Studio: Paramount
Format: Cinema
Country: USA
This is an English-language release.
Le Dîner De Cons: intelligent, raucous and thought provoking - words you don’t tend to associate with the majority of Hollywood’s output. But they do insist on highlighting their failings.
Everything is going well for Tim. He has an easy, well paid job, a stunning girlfriend, and a flash apartment - but he wants more. He desires promotion to the next level of the firm he works for, a chance to gain more income, and impress his girlfriend who has thus far refused to bow to his relentless marriage proposals – he also becomes increasingly insecure she will find herself in the bed of the charismatic artist she’s working with.
Despite impressing at a board meeting, Tim must attend his boss’ annual dinner to ensure his promotion goes through – the catch: each attendee must bring a fool, who will provide the boss and his guests (including an orange David Walliams as Swiss royalty set to invest millions into their company) with entertainment.
Despite the protests of his girlfriend, Tim sees an opportunity too good to pass up when he mows down the slow minded Barry whilst distracted on his cell phone. Barry shows excitement that he’s been hit by a Porsche, and even offers to payoff Tim, despite being the victim – he’s the perfect candidate.
However, Tim will soon regret extending his dinner invite to Barry, as his presence soon sends his life into chaos…
It’s hardly going to be a surprise to read a website purveying in foreign-language filmmaking slate an American remake of one of France’s golden comedic achievements, Le Dîner De Cons. But we never wanted much. We always knew this was going to be a dumbed down version, but with the likes of Steve Carell, Paul Rudd and director Jay Roach at the helm, who have been involved in many of America’s more palatable releases in recent years, we would have forgiven the sledgehammer approach for ninety minutes of mindless, throwaway entertainment. It never comes close to such modest expectations.
Steve Carell has always struggled when moving into Jim Carrey territory – most obviously in his follow-up to Bruce Almighty – and whilst his ‘fool act’ was tolerable in the likes of Anchorman, where he had a much smaller role within an ensemble, here he comes painfully unstuck. Unlike Carrey who had such success playing dim-wits in the likes of Dumb & Dumber, Carell doesn’t have the physique, the facial elasticity or persona to carry off goofy behaviour whilst retaining the audience’s empathy (even if he sports the same haircut as Carrey’s Lloyd Christmas character in Peter Farrelly laugh-out-loud original). He simply becomes infuriating. More so, when he’s given such inconsistent and barrel scraping material to work with.
The early premise made by Rudd’s over reactive partner is that laughing at people who are odd is wrong, yet all attempts at humour stem from mocking Carell’s Barry character, whose OTT appearance and behaviour is an attempt at milking as many laughs as possible from somebody who surely has a mental disability. Yet despite these tasteless sets up, where, for example, Barry is given a telephone number containing a series of 1’s and doesn’t understand the strange noise from the handset informing him he’s misdialled, he’s managed to retain a long-term job working for the IRS (perhaps a dig from clearly overpaid scriptwriters bemoaning their tax bill); has previously been married (although he had to look under the sofa and still couldn’t find the cliterous); and can create intricate and detailed dioramas, populated by dead mice he preserves, makes up and dresses in custom made costumes – yet you are supposed to believe he would find it impossible to get himself dressed in the morning.
Carrel has proven when he plays it straight – Dan In Real Life, Little Miss Sunshine – he’s a competent actor, but he comes unstuck when asked to absurdly destroy a stranger’s flat play fighting with a leather clad stalker. Although, in fairness, he never comes to Rudd’s do-gooder love interest for exasperating viewers.
As with Carrel, Rudd is another actor whose limitations were easily overlooked within Farrell’s star-vehicle Anchorman, and whilst he’s become the unfunny ‘go to’ comedy actor for Hollywood within recent years, he serves no purpose when the lead fails so miserably. He’s clearly type-cast as the ‘well off’, career type with a beautiful partner, who jeopardises it all once he makes acquaintance with a dysfunctional male. He’s diminutive and plain in a stereotypically good looking way, so he’ll never distract from the star turn of a Seth Rogen (Knocked Up) or Jason Segel (I Love You, Man), and, with no obvious failings, he’s perfectly credible when it comes to the requisite Hollywood schmaltzy ending, but the more Carrel floundered, the more dislikeable he became. His vacant expression throughout the film’s running time was the only appropriate inclusion, as we were asked to root for a selfish character who displayed only monetary greed and dishonesty throughout. No story or character arc prepared us for the clichéd ending, which is swiftly tagged on despite ample time to build up to such predictability.
That brings us to the film’s running time. Two hours is too long for most films, particularly comedies, and when you are throwing out so many misses, it’s arduous to say the least. Roach has form with the Meet The Parents and Austin Powers franchises, but there were enough original set pieces – and two confirmed comedy actors in Ben Stiller and Mike Myers respectably – to maintain interest in those earlier hits.
Producer Sacha Baron Cohen has proven with characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno that he has little shame, but hopefully he’ll show some red-faced humility in apologising to the likes of David Walliams, Zach Galifianakis and Kristen Schaal who provide the only guilty chuckles, although Lucy Punch (recently enjoying success in BBC 2’s Vexed) is made to look ridiculous as the crazed stalker that wants Carell to spank her like a school girl (“You’re a little old to be a school girl, aren’t you?”). Let’s also hope this isn’t a sign of things to come for Jermaine Clement, whose cult television hit Flight Of The Conchords is in a completely different league to this offering.
Dinner For Schmucks has somehow managed to be worse than any fan of the original could possibly have feared when the remake was announced. ‘Nuff said. DH
Series: Rozen Maiden: Traumend - Volume 1
Release date: 12th July 2010
Certificate: PG
Running time: 150 mins
Director: Kou Matsuo
Starring: Asami Sanada, Miyuki Sawashiro, Masayo Kurata, Natsuko Kuwatani, Noriko Rikimaru
Genre: Anime
Studio: MVM
Format: DVD
Country: Japan
Rozen Maiden Träumend (translated as Rozen Maiden Dreaming) follows on from the original series with the introduction of further Rozen doll characters, whose differing philosophies result in a dramatic finale to the twelve episodes of this series.
In the first series, the boy Sukurada Jun discovered the secrets of the Rozen Maidens, dolls created by the mysterious puppet maker Rozen. After suffering a traumatic incident at school, Jun refused to return there and became withdrawn from society. His discovery with Shinku, one of the most dominant personalities among the Rozen dolls, led to him regain his confidence, emerging from his isolation to return to school.
In this second series, the emphasis has shifted from Jun’s personal crisis to the conflicts between the differing philosophies of the dolls living in Jun’s house, and those outside Shinku’s circle of influence. Jun’s house is home to three other dolls as well as Shinku – the twins Suiseiseki and Souseiseki, and the more infantile Hinaichigo. All three bow to Shinku’s superior guidance, and know that their destiny is tied up in some way with the perilous Alice Game – a game foreseen by their creator, Rozen, in which one doll will kill all the others, possess their inner power (Rosa Mystica), and so become the one idealised girl, personified as ‘Alice’...
Shinku refuses to fight with her sisters, but there are other dolls who do not share her qualms, threatening the equilibrium of the peaceful tea-drinking, TV watching existence within Jun’s household. One of Shinku’s strongest opponents is Suigintou, who was also an adversary in the first series. Desperate to obtain the approval of their ‘father’ (the dollmaker), Suigintou is willing to stop at nothing in order to win the Alice Game.
Greater complications ensue with the introduction of a further character, apparently the seventh of the Rozen maiden sisters. However, all is not as it seems, and deception and counter-deception are played out, culminating in a battle to determine who will win the ill-fated Alice Game…
The strongest aspect of the series is the artwork for the opening titles. The silhouetted shapes are reminiscent of European woodcut prints, a style suitable to the Brothers Grimm Gothicism of the subject matter. Beautifully sombre tones and swirling lines suggest an unhealthy vitality to the forms of the natural world, like an Arts & Crafts print imbued with some vampiric life force. This quality is carried through with the Lolita-esque designs for the dolls’ outfits. The most striking of these are the classic Victorianism of Shinku’s stately maroon bonnet and rose ornamented ruffles, the cold blue and purple tones and spiky Gothicism of Suigintou and her black-feathered shoulders, and the crystalline amethyst hues of the supposed seventh doll, with the horror of one empty eye socket incongruously obscured by a mauve rose.
The quality of this design is not carried through to the anime as a whole, unfortunately. While the backgrounds of the fight sequences are often atmospherically drawn, the quality of animation of the action is poor, and it doesn’t convey a proper sense of the peril facing the embattled dolls. The human characters are drawn quite blandly – the discovery of the true identity of one character is meant to come as a revelation, but lazy drawing means that even Scooby and Shaggy would have seen through this cunning disguise.
The ideas being explored in the anime sound encouragingly sinister, but the anime fails to live up to this promise. We watch the process of the dolls being created, the blankness of their initially lifeless forms, and the carelessness with which the puppet maker discards those that are imperfect (apparently all). The concepts of trying to please a seemingly implacable parent/creator, and invest life with some form of meaning, clearly hold the potential for layers of metaphor and significance.
The promise of the anime’s concept is undermined by the poor quality of the animation and music, and the cloying sentimentality. The younger-acting dolls are presumably there to provide some comic relief, and to up the kawaii (cute) element of the anime. But the whining and shrieking of Hinaichigo, Kanaria and Suiseiseki would give earache to bats, and the protracted demise of one of these characters could hardly fail to harden the softest heart. The appallingly cheesy music makes every appeal to the emotions even crasser, with fulsome piano music swelling out on cue at the merest suspicion of sentiment. The bizarre opening music sounds like a Eurovision-styled mashup of The South Bank Show theme with someone falling down stairs clutching a Casio keyboard.
There’s been much debate about the predominance of the kawaii factor in Japanese culture, and whether its portrayal of feminine helplessness and infantilism encourages the persistence of female subjugation. Granted, this is an anime for children, but the cloying fixation of the dolls on gaining the approval of a male figure, and the implicit approval of infantile behaviours, such as referring to themselves in the third person, is quite disturbing. In contrast, both Shinku and Suigintou can demonstrate dignity, self-determination and power, but these quieter voices are drowned out by the predominance of the kawaii dolls, meaning that the prevailing tone of the anime is overwhelmingly the juvenile shrieks of those that are most helpless. The creative duo who devised the manga, Peach-Pit, are clearly talented artists, and aiming their product at a younger female audience, but the idea that the level of sophistication offered by this anime is the most that audience can expect or deal with is fairly offensive.
The anime’s sinister Alice In Wonderland overtones, promising subject matter and intermittently fine artwork is undermined by the low production values and inappropriate use of music. Its mixture of dark Gothic mysticism and sickly sentimentality seems aimed to appeal to a wide age bracket, but is unlikely to please at either end of the scale. KR
Film: Mahoromatic - Something More Beautiful Volume 1
Release date: 7th June 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 125 mins
Director: Hiroyuki Yamaga
Starring: Ayako Kawasumi
Fujiko Takimoto, Asami Sanada, Ai Shimizu, Atsushi Kisaichi
Genre: Anime
Studio: MVM
Format: DVD
Country: Japan
Something More Beautiful is the title of the second series of action/comedy anime Mahoromatic. Mahoro is a beautiful warrior android, created by Vector to fight an alien invasion, who is now living as a maid to Suguru, the son of her former Commander whom she was forced to kill.
The story of Mahoro continues... The second series follows an inaccurate course over its arc, with plenty of episodes that simply mark time. Mahoro's internal clock is counting down, with only a few hundred days until she deactivates. One day Suguru is followed by Minawa, an android created by Management, a secret society that rule the world. Mahoro takes Minawa in and she poses as Mahoro’s younger sister.
Over the course of the next few episodes, the three bond alongside Slash, Mahoro's support mech in the form of a panther, Ryuuga, an alien that Mahoro formerly fought against and is now head teacher at Suguru's school; and also Shikijou, a teacher at the school who is a compulsive drinker and is forever trying to get into a relationship with Suguru. A lot of time is spent with Mahoro trying to confiscate Suguru's stash of porn, or increase the size of her breasts.
Towards the end of the series, the Management step up their attacks, and with Mahoro's power failing, she is killed while destroying them. Suguru, in love with Mahoro, spends the next few decades hunting down and destroying androids that were affiliated to the Management. Eventually Mahoro is reincarnated, and the two are reunited…
Mahoromatic is an incredibly strange anime that makes no sense whatsoever. Its ideals, ethos and morals are muddled, it kicks around going nowhere for episode after episode; it has an obsession with breasts; and it has no idea as to what it is trying to achieve, with the result that it doesn't achieve anything. To top it off, the animation is so cheap in places that, at times, there is no animation, just dialogue spoken over still images for minutes on end.
To add to this, we have some dubious sexual preferences thrown in for good measure. Of course, this should not be surprising; Japan is the capital of the world for dubious sexual preferences and practices. But even so, having a female teacher, Miss Shikijou, constantly trying to seduce a 14-year old-boy into bed, and treating it as a comedy, is simply off the mark. Equally, the numerous topless nude scenes of Miss Shikijou enjoying baths with her female students where they spend their hours comparing the sizes of their breasts is pure male fantasy, which puts the show on an artistic par with pornography. Once Minawa starts sharing these baths, an android with the body of a prepubescent girl, again comparing breast sizes and the need for large breasts in order to attract men, the show becomes downright disturbing - it's amazing these scenes made it past the BBFC. Mahoro's crusade against Suguru's pornography feels like just an excuse to squeeze in more softcore naked cartoons. Especially since one of Mahoro's primary goals is to increase the size of her own bust while decrying her catchphrase: “Thinking dirty thoughts is wrong.” The simple failure to create a logical lead character means Mahoro just isn't credible in the way that a similarly outrageous character in a similarly outrageous world such as Tank Girl is. The audience is lost at the start.
The whole series feels manipulative in this way. There is no overarching moral, no real message to tell, just an obsession with breasts (even extending to the end credits song), and an incomprehensible and uneven story. The style veers from flat-out slapstick comedy to severely bleak sci-fi in the final few episodes. Even the animation can't maintain a style, veering from high energy fight scenes to completely static scenes where the camera simply pans across a drawing.
The show does have saving graces, and it certainly needs them. The comedy, while being mostly low brow, unfunny and tending to revolve around breasts, does occasionally raise the game, especially with the sardonic Slash - the running visual gag with him and Suguru's extremely small dog being almost worth the price of admission. The final episode, being set twenty years after the events of the series, and taking itself far more seriously, is a much more enjoyable watch than the ridiculous self-indulgence of the early episodes, but these alone do not raise this anime above anything other than low rent.
Die hard anime fans will probably lap Mahoromatic up for the weirdness, but nothing can absolve the uneasiness of watching casual paedophilia played for laughs. PE
