
Film: Humains
Release date: 9th August 2010
Certificate: 18
Running time: 84 mins
Director: Jacques-Olivier Molon & Pierre-Olivier Thevenin
Starring: Lorànt Deutsch, Sara Forestier, Dominique Pinon, Manon Tournier, Élise Otzenberger
Genre: Action/Adventure/Horror/Thriller
Studio: Scanbox
Format: DVD
Country: France/Switzerland/Luxembourg
After running the harsh gauntlet of critical abuse during its theatrical release in Europe, where it was routinely and universally panned, Humains finally limps onto DVD courtesy of Scanbox Entertainment, but is it as atrocious as everyone claims?
When anthropology professor Schneider (Philippe Nahon) discovers a site in the Swiss Alps containing human remains that currently defy all current theories on human evolution, he assembles a team to investigate. Schneider, along with his reluctant son Thomas (Lorànt Deutsch), is joined by one of the professor’s assistants, Nadia (Sara Forestier), for the expedition.
They set off up winding mountain roads where they come across a family of tourists that, coincidently, Nadia had encountered on a proceeding train journey. Gildas (Dominique Pinon), his life partner Patricia (Élise Otzenberger) and their daughter Elodie (Manon Tournier) hitch a ride with the researchers after experiencing car trouble.
After a momentary lapse in concentration, Thomas loses control of the vehicle, causing it to plummet down the mountainside, killing his father. The rest of the group survive, but are now trapped in the gorge. As they find a way out, they soon realise that they are not alone…
In response to the question posed in the opening paragraph: is Humains as atrocious as everyone claims? The answer has to be yes as Humains is a bland and dire attempt at horror filmmaking that simply boggles the intelligence. It’s irredeemable in almost every single way, and fails to muster even the bare minimum of comforting escapism that many lacklustre films are still able to achieve. This is due to a rather flat and lazy script that’s further damaged by sloppy execution.
Performances aren’t dreadful but certainly fail to rise above the limits of script functionality. Nahon’s Schneider – the curmudgeonly mentor whose involvement in the plot is cut short dramatically – is played just how you’d expect. Forestier’s token hot lab assistant routine does little to go beyond that pretence, neither does Deutsch playing the handsome, introverted old friend of said hot lab assistant who, as one would guess, is hopelessly infatuated with her – not that he’d admit it, of course.
As for the tourist contingent: Jean-Pierre Jeunet regular Dominique Pinon is surprisingly non-engaging considering his rich back catalogue of interesting characterisations – including his wheelchair-bound space pirate in Alien Resurrection (1997) – contributing little to the cast dynamic. His partner Patricia does little more than complain, whilst his teenage daughter Elodie is typically angsty.
The script bumbles along with a distinct lack of purpose. Nothing of note occurs until halfway through, with exception to a spectacularly bad car crash where the CGI rendered vehicle drives off the mountain road and falls into the gorge – if you’re going to drive a car off the side of a mountain, what’s wrong with gravity? To make things even more illogical; you’d think none of the cast would have faces left after such a horrific, mountain plummeting accident, but they all walk away from it with only a few lacerations and a hurt shoulder. Schneider’s death is highly dubious as his body has somehow been magically transported a fair distance away from the wreck, and to think if he stayed in the semi crushed vehicle, he would’ve survived. Another questionable moment sees the group crossing a river with a strong current by wading through it with the assistance of a rope that’s tied across. Patricia gets hit by a piece of driftwood and loses grip, prompting the usual pursuit along the riverbank to rescue her. Thomas is able haul her out, but it turns out Nadia was also swept by the current, not that you see that happening, nor was she in the water or visibly part of the collision.
This motif of shoddiness infects other elements of production, such as the editing, which is clumsy to say the least. Scenes end abruptly or with cheap and tiresome looking fades to black, paying absolutely no attention to the emotional resonance of the moment - not that the thin script permits it anyway. Sometimes it’s nice to linger after a final exchange of information for a beat or two to allow the audience to absorb what’s been divulged. That doesn’t happen here, instead one gets the impression that the filmmakers are trying to get through this ordeal as quickly as possible, which is commendably merciful in retrospect.
Camerawork is acceptable but not exemplary, and the film’s score is equally mediocre, failing to stir any kind of excitement or tension, which is sacrilege considering that this is supposed to be a horror film. Humains has absolutely no scares on account of each scene being poorly paced and executed. It also has a distinct lack of moments that are even designed to be scary, and only a few shocks come in the form of sporadic moments of violence which offers nothing new in an already violent and overcrowded genre - and bears almost laughable results. The antagonists – a tribe of cliff-faced Neanderthals – feel ill-conceived and half-baked, performing the usual foliage rustling and bow and arrow games that’s been seen time and time again. Even the muddled and badly executed perception shift/role reversal in the final act fails to elevate them beyond being dirty men in rags.
There are only so many ways you can say that this film is terrible without sounding overly pejorative, but for resolution’s sake: Humains is an amateurish mess of a production that fails in almost every filmmaking discipline. To hate it would be a waste of energy as what transpires is so bland and uninspiring that to have any strong emotional response to it is tantamount to crying over spilt nothingness. It really isn’t worth it, and it certainly isn’t worth your time or your money. Humains is one to avoid. MP





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